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Children who are bullied need to know they are not the problem. Bullying is about the bully needing to feel powerful. They believe their wants are more important than anyone else’s. They have learned to be abusers. Bullying always involves Intimidation through specific tactics meant to instill fear Threats of emotional, physical and psychological harm Discrimination by accusing the victim of being inferior or wrong Isolation of the victim from others who may give support. We must help the victims. This can be done by; Listening to their stories of life at school Watching for changes in behaviour, especially from happy to fearful Observing their play and listening to how they interact with others Asking about any indications that hint at being afraid or avoiding people or places. You are looking for fear of the school yard, anxiety about who will be in their class, talk of having guitar chords no friends, worry about their teacher’s treatment of them and in general a focus on feeling safe rather than excited to be able to learn and grow. We can identify bullies by; Watching the way they talk to and about other children Observing the way their parents speak to them Look at who their friends are and the interaction between them Paying attention to the types of games they play and TV programs they prefer. Signs include belittling and name calling, talk of “getting” other people, a superior attitude with lack of care and empathy for others and forming groups where the group acts aggressively against siblings, younger children or members of a race, religion or sexual orientation. Bullies often present as confident and popular so people believe they are not the cause of the problem. Parents must hold school officials accountable to stop abusive behaviour on the school yard and in the classroom.